The Student Leader Blog

How paying attention can change your life.

One of my students wrote a post on our class blog that reminded me why paying attention can change everything.

She said that the 5 minutes of class for which she was fully conscious (thanks) led her to reconnect with two friends she otherwise would have given up on. That's one friendship rebuilt per 2.5 minutes of paying attention. She writes: "What would have happened if I hadn't attended class at all? I shudder to that thought."

This line of thinking makes my head explode with infinite configurations of could'ves-would'ves. What if I hadn't overhead that there was an advertising club in my high school? Then I would not have connected with a video company I went on to work for (on and off) for six years. I almost certainly wouldn't be teaching video research to middle school kids now. I probably wouldn't have met my boyfriend (since we met because of my camera), and we wouldn't have two fuzzy little cats and an apartment together.

What if I didn't look at the flyer someone handed me about a student leadership retreat at Hunter? Then I would not be teaching first year seminar (because the idea came up in one of our conversations), and I wouldn't be writing this post right now.

So much of life stems from just a handful of occurances.

Obviously, we can't pay attention to everything all the time, but imagine if we all paid just a little more attention. Maybe a few extra minutes would lead you to that one new idea, new relationship, or new opportunity that will determine where you'll be 10 years from now.

I hope you've been paying attention to this blog post :)

How to Force Someone into Your Shoes (or Dealing with Pea Brains)

First thing this morning, I had a fascinatingly long argument with the head of my building's management, (let's call him Pea Brain), so I had plenty of time to practice all the communication techniques I've ever read, seen, or thought about.

I was doing my best to be a good listener. I was staying calm and not using "you" words. I was showing him that I understood his point of view. But Pea was persistent. He refused to see my side of it, no matter how sound my logic or nonthreatening my tone.

So I tried a little game on Pea that I tend to use on me. I said, "Okay, maybe you and I are just used to dealing with these kinds of situations in different ways. Let's say you are me. This is how you feel (followed by description with Pea as the main character instead of me). What would you do if this were you?"

At this point Pea finally stopped for a moment and scratched his head (or at least I'm reasonably sure that he might have but can't be certain seeing as it was a telephone conversation). He seemed to think about this (or at least I'm reasonable sure he may have thought but can't be certain since all he said was "uhhhh"). And then he finally tried on my proverbial shoes. At first he didn't quite get it, so I supplied him with some more information, and then, at last, he finally seemed to understand. He said,  "Fine whatever. Why are we wasting time talking about this?" (translation: ohhh I get it and feel kinda dumb). I tucked this technique into my arsenal and smiled.

So role playing isn't just for new-agey shrinks and drama majors after all.

It's not in my job description, and that's that.

I'm taking an Industrial Organizational Psychology course this summer, and recently, we covered the topic of job descriptions--a subject I've thought a lot about since development of job descriptions was added to my job description at my former job. (You may need to re-read that a few times before it starts making sense).

Anywho, during the class, my instructor was adamant about the fact that a worker must never say "it's not in my job description" to a superior. If your manager tells you to do it, then do it. Otherwise, you come across as unmotivated, lazy, arrogant, or all of the above. I can understand the merit of this advice, but in my experience (as leader and worker), this kind of ready-and-willing compliance also has a dark side.

A former coworker of mine actually lost his job in part because he was constantly agreeing to do things outside his job description. He accepted random tasks as his main responsibilities sat waiting, and he eventually lost credibility in the eyes of his supervisor--all as a result of being too eager to please.

As a worker, to prevent this from happening, I've learned a handy managing up strategy: saying "Okay, sounds good, but here are the things that I am working on right now. Which of these items should I push down in order of priority so that I could take care of what you're asking me to do?" This reminds the leader of your role and its importance while showing your willingness to do what ever needs to be done--as long as it's really a priority.

As a leader, I've made the mistake of asking members of my group to do things outside of their roles and later kicked myself for doing it because (a) I had delegated the task to people who weren't the best fit for it and (b) they completed this task at the expense of their priorities (i.e. the stuff in their "job" descriptions). And I also risked (c) making them feel unappreciated or overworked. All very bad juju. A leader has to respect people's roles and only ask for them to step outside these roles if it really makes sense to do so and with an appropriate explanation of the request, and then adequate appreciation. And that's how you get good juju.

The Twitter Potential for Student Clubs

So thanks to Andy Drish, I have been a member of the Twitter community since March 30th, and ever since I joined, I've been trying to figure out how I can use it.

In case you're not familiar with Twitter.com, it's a social networking website whose users try to answer the question "What are you doing" in 140 characters or less. You then get to follow other users' updates and share your own.

I've already reaped some of Twitter's expected benefits like finding out that a friend of mine would be in New Jersey just as I was going there by following her updates and finding people who have similar interests to mine. But that's not necessarily unique to Twitter.

Since Twitter is really ideal for quickie updates, I've just realized that I can use this with my club members without having to do all the usual "Dear X, Sincerely Tania" mumbo jumbo. The Twitter format encourages short, fun to read, and frequent updates, which is perfect for staying connected with both frequent and occasional club members.

And here I was thinking that telegrams were old school. Twitter, I like you.

follow TaniaDudina at http://twitter.com

The Perfect Cocktail Party (without the cocktails).

College is a cocktail party, and as student leaders, we are cocktail party hosts, responsible for making sure that everyone is chatting pleasantly and ending the evening with hugs, kisses, and memories of people's first names. But to make this happen, throwing a party and inviting a bunch of people is not enough. Neither are cocktails.

The expert host knows how to set up self-sustaining conversations with everyone at the party. This means making the introduction, subtly suggesting a discussion topic, then sneaking away only to return occasionally with some light hores d'oeuvres to sustain the appetite.

The trick I like to use most for setting up a connection between strangers is an oldie but a goodie, and the ingredients are simple: pick a shared interest between two strangers and say something like, "Hey X, Y also likes hitchhiking!" Sparks tend to fly naturally then, particularly if you manage to find a connection point that is niche enough (so not all people can bond over it) and expandable enough (so that it can turn into a conversation rather than awkward smiles and nods).

If I can't think of a link or if my link proves too shallow (e.g. "Oh, so you also like chocolate ice cream, huh?"), I use plan B, which is to pose some sort of thought provoking or explanation requiring question, and often answer it myself first--though not conclusively--to get the conversation going.

Of course, all of this well-intentioned manipulation has to happen smoothly, with no trace of the artificial or effortful, and the host must never walk away until it's clear that a connection has been established. But once it's there, who knows what can happen? Lives can change, opportunities can open, and the party can be one heck of a night out.

The Etiquette of Texting On Campus

I'm guilty as I've done it many times...

I'm chatting with friends and my phone buzzes alerting me of a text message. I stealthily pull the phone from my pocket and text back in hopes no one notices. But my multitasking skills are not good enough and I often play catch up in the conversation.

I'm not nearly as experienced as some students who can text, reply, and order lunch without looking at their phone. But does it mean they are being rude for not fully engaging in the converstaion, or nice because they are txting instead of calling?

Group McPotayves says txting is the same as pulling out your phone and talking, and they want to do something about it via a college campus campaign:

Group McPotayves is working on a campaign to reduce cell phone usage in class. Here is an overview/outline of the campaign:

Goal: To create awareness among students at Oklahoma State University about classroom etiquette.

Objectives:

1.To reduce the use of cell phones, by students during class, by five percent each semester.
2.To increase awareness among incoming freshman about proper classroom etiquette by 50 percent the first semester.

Their blog is filled with a complete action plan including Commercials, PSAs, News Releases, and pre written Opinion Articles (which is kinda funny to think about). They are trying to make it a turn key campaign for your campus.

The question is, is it a problem worth addressing with a campaign blitz? What is your experience on campus?

Facebook is more Popular than Student Email

There's been talk for awhile now about college students not checking e-mail, instead preferring new technology like text messaging and Facebook.

Schools, in an understandably institutional response often now "require" students to check their email, making the process not exciting to the students by calling it "official". I really do have sympathy for the institutions, especially the poor community college that has been fighting for 3 years to get the budgeting to get a .edu e-mail, finally gets one for 2 million, only to find students used it to get a Facebook account and now don't check their .edu at all, because they get all the info they think they need by logging into Facebook everyday.

While big rich universities like PSU can afford to live on the edge of technology, the bell curve of schools is being left behind by the spam filters of students.

Gen Y, or C, depending on who you are reading, is bombarded with media. (Just think of advertising on the 1/2 inch strip of trim above the glass backboards with www.godaddy.com on them.) They have had to erect incredible powerful filtration methods to sort through all the "junk" that comes at them all day.

E-mail as a mechanism, to a Gen-Yer, and to anyone that hasn't figured out their spam filter yet, is more junk that good. Too much Viagra, sales pitches, "send this to ten people or else . . " Students are simply de-emphasizing this channel in proportion to its usefulness to them.

It's hard to keep up with their preferences, for sure, but it's very silly for institutions to try to force them to use a channel that students have reviewed and dismissed. The students are simply making optimization choices for their inputs. They are making smart choices based on their experiences. Schools will not convince them they are wrong with policies, at best they will cow the students and thereby reinforce and "out of touch" reputation.

Students like text messaging and Facebook precisely for the reasons institutions struggle with them - they are hard to Spam. Of course institutions don't see their communications as Spam, neither does Coke or Expedia, but in the aggregate all of the messages that are not immediately relevant tick one point negative in the student's minds. With Facebook, and incidentally, screwing this up is why myspace will continue to degenerate, students get messages that come from pre-filtered sources: their friends. Same goes for text messages, though now spam is starting to creep into this medium too.

The start of an answer for schools is too work on relevancy. They must do the hard work of pre-filtering their communications and try to get it to the right students at the right time.  Regardless of what channel the message goes through, if institutions lazily bomb out mass e-mails, this generation will simply tune them out with the other junk. Of course this is extra hard for schools with no technology, it is always easy to "send all".

My personal opinion is that PSU has it right.  I think RSS feeds are the way to go. This is a scalable system and is free (sign up for a free typepad account and then feedburn it and you've got an RSS feed). The only challenge is that RSS feeder adoption rates are not yet high enough to make it work (in fact they are extremely low). Institutions could require these instead of -e-mail however, and avoid looking silly by spending money on ineffective channels or requiring outmoded technologies. Instead the risk is on RSS adoption in general, but at least this experiment doesn't put the IT department out 2 million. Very importantly, RSS gives the students a Spam free info channel allowing the institution to show off its understanding of the current challenges of its most important stake holders.