The Student Leader Blog

Stress Hitting College Students the Hardest

USA TODAY released a new study showing that college students are the most stressed population segment. Gosh, I wonder why?

You are...

• taking on multiple credit classes
• involved in several out-of-class activities
• working an extra job to pay for the tuition hikes
• scared your mac and cheese supply might run out
  
• taking out extra loans just to pay for your textbooks
• stressed about getting a job after graduation
• worried about all your socks having holes in them

Good thing college is a finite amount of time. But since you are still in college try out some tips given by SL Writer Mike Sharp on how to keep your life more balanced.

The Point of Happiness

I'm teaching a class on happiness tomorrow and the thought of it is telling my brain that it's 3PM instead of the 3AM that it really is. I'm awake. I'm very much awake, and I'm trembling all over. My couch is covered in books, my notepad is full of scribbles, and up until I sat down to write this post, I couldn't stop pacing around the apartment. My cats got tired of watching me and fell asleep.

I don't know if happiness is something one can teach and, even if it is, whether I can teach it. I don't know whether this class will have any impact on anyone or anything aside from my sleep cycle, but it seems that there's a possibility that it may, and so long as that possibility exists I need to take it very seriously.

Why? What's the point of this class? What's the point of happiness?

The simplest answer is that it feels good. In the book A Primer in Positive Psychology (the best textbook ever written), Chris Peterson points out that happiness has also been shown to predict things like long lasting relationships, financial success, and physical health. But what makes it so God damn important in my eyes is the realization that you can either live a life bursting with joy and radiance or you can live your life as though it's a homework assignment. An entire life cherished, or an entire life simply, spent. You only have one teeny life, and how you live it depends entirely on your perspective.

When I think of the point of happiness, I also think of the point at which my own perspective shifted forever. It was in high school, and I had been depressed for over a year, maybe a lot longer. Then in one instant, I suddenly snapped out of it. I don't know exactly what did it (though I'm sure the antidepressants helped), but suddenly I was exuberant, and I'll never forget the contrast between those two mental states: like lying under a pile of bricks one moment and then floating up on a cloud of balloons in the next. Being mentally present for that transition taught me how to recreate that feeling voluntarily, but more importantly, it taught me that life can feel terrible, it can feel like nothing much, or it can feel wonderful. And if it can be wonderful, why not work to make it wonderful?

Feeling wonderful makes us want to do wonderful things - to create, to build, to nurture, to solve, to take risks, and to make others feel wonderful. And that's the point; isn't it?

How paying attention can change your life.

One of my students wrote a post on our class blog that reminded me why paying attention can change everything.

She said that the 5 minutes of class for which she was fully conscious (thanks) led her to reconnect with two friends she otherwise would have given up on. That's one friendship rebuilt per 2.5 minutes of paying attention. She writes: "What would have happened if I hadn't attended class at all? I shudder to that thought."

This line of thinking makes my head explode with infinite configurations of could'ves-would'ves. What if I hadn't overhead that there was an advertising club in my high school? Then I would not have connected with a video company I went on to work for (on and off) for six years. I almost certainly wouldn't be teaching video research to middle school kids now. I probably wouldn't have met my boyfriend (since we met because of my camera), and we wouldn't have two fuzzy little cats and an apartment together.

What if I didn't look at the flyer someone handed me about a student leadership retreat at Hunter? Then I would not be teaching first year seminar (because the idea came up in one of our conversations), and I wouldn't be writing this post right now.

So much of life stems from just a handful of occurances.

Obviously, we can't pay attention to everything all the time, but imagine if we all paid just a little more attention. Maybe a few extra minutes would lead you to that one new idea, new relationship, or new opportunity that will determine where you'll be 10 years from now.

I hope you've been paying attention to this blog post :)

How to stay clean when the bureaucracy gets dirty.

I had a really nice talk with Hunter's dean of student life the other day - somehow, even with all his responsibilities, he always finds the time to just talk. And that is at the heart of this blog post.

He's worked at Hunter for 39 years now, and he always gets to his office before 6AM. He attends every student play and drives up to Hunter's leadership retreat in upstate New York just to thank everyone for coming. He meets thousands of new students every semester and remembers their names. He answers students' email on Sundays. He is one of the few administrators at Hunter College whom everyone respects and appreciates.

I joked with him about the beast of bureaucracy, and he told me a great Eisenhower story that summarizes it pretty well. Apparently, when President Eisenhower decided to leave his position as president of Columbia University and run for president of the United States, he said he did it because he wanted to get out of politics. Yeah...

When I asked the dean how he managed to maintain his identity and passion in the bureaucracy, he said that for him it has just been a matter of honesty and integrity. If you ask him a question he will answer it, and the values behind his answers will always be consistent.

I like that answer. I like it a lot. It means that perhaps the way to win in the game of politics is by refusing to play or perhaps by playing only by your own rules.

If I die tomorrow, will I regret studying for the GRE?

Got home, kicked off the high heels that I shouldn't have been wearing, plopped down on the couch, opened my calendar. Calendar says "study for GRE." But here I am writing a blog post and not studying, and I'm trying to figure out whether I'm doing the "right" thing.

Today a friend said something along the lines of: "how can I waste time worrying if I might die tomorrow?" I think about this a lot, particularly as a way to calm myself down and get some perspective on life. Perspective seems to be one of the first things to go under stress. (Hint: You know it's happening to you when you get a B- on a test and you start contemplating suicide).

I've gotten pretty good at cutting unnecessary stress from my life, but now I'm thinking in terms of "what if I die tomorrow" as far as studying for the GRE is concerned -- and all other activities that lead to short term frustration and long term benefits.

I have a hard time reconciling the values of "plan ahead" and "seize the day." As a student leader, I was constantly trying to figure that out how to choose between the slow and bloody battle with bureaucracy vs a short and sweet goal that makes people (and me) happy tomorrow but doesn't amount to much in the end.
I suppose we have to live with the understanding that sure, we might die tomorrow, but we also might not, and plan accordingly for either outcome. It's safest to assume you're going to be around for a long, long time, but use the reminder of mortality to make sure you're doing your best to enjoy every moment. At the end of the day, I think it's possible to be both ready for tomorrow, and feel no regrets about the way you spent the time you've had, should your time run out.

So I'll go study for the damn GRE in case I'm still alive on Saturday, but I will also pour myself a hot cup of tea (because tea makes me happy) and try to find some intrinsic motivation for relearning geometry. As for whether or not it was right for me to take the time to write this post... I don't know, but I don't think I will regret it.